Hungry, wants dinner and doesn’t feel like cooking
Doesn’t cook dinner, settles on a bagel and small bag of plain chips.

Thirsty, doesn’t want to go to the kitchen to get something
Takes a cup to the bathroom and fills it with water. (It’s a good thing it’s not city, you’d have to walk a few extra feet to get filtered.)

Spends time making ice coffee for tomorrow
Won’t spend time to make food or get a drink out of the kitchen.

Takes two baths to lay in the tub
Gets out of the tub to lay in bed.

Doesn’t want to brush hair
Puts it in a bun because nobody will notice it.

In the event you must leave the cave
Put on sunglasses instead of makeup.

Sees a text message and doesn’t respond
Says I was busy, asleep, or didn’t get it