Do you eat plastic?
No but I chew on it.
What is your political party?
Other.
Please specify: I don’t care.
What is your sexual orientation?
Other.
Please specify: Whoever I like.
Where do you think the country is headed?
Hell.
Do you own a raccoon?
No but have you seen my makeup after a wild night?
Do you eat tires?
No but you saw that video too?
Are you married?
Are you single?
May I have your number if any other opportunities arise?
No because I haven’t seen your picture. I don’t know if I would sleep with you.