In 140 characters or less babble nonsense…
-Dicks don’t solve problems, they create them.
-How many dumbasses does it take to screw a light bulb? None because they’re too stupid to figure it out!
-I wish I was drunk right now.
-Why are people so fucking stupid?
-Motherfuckers, stop emailing me! I’m not in college anymore!
-Thanks for the invitation, but you’re aware I don’t like you and still don’t give a fuck?
-I rather masturbate than have sex with you.
-I’m getting high off caffeine.
-My hair is yellow.
-Why does my butt look weird? I need to get my eyes checked.
-Two face lifts, plastic tits, and you’re still ugly? Go buy yourself a personality. Bitch.
-The point in life is to get drunk.
Can I hang you? #DontTextMe #Whoareyou