Four years old
A boy kissed me on the bus
I ran home to my mother crying
‘I am pregnant’
because kissing meant sex.
I met my first best friend
I met my first boyfriend
Five years old
I was sitting in a bath tub
with my best friend
she opened her legs up
in front of me and started
playing with herself
She got up from the tub and stood over the toilet
like a boy
and pissed all over the place
I was disgusted and confused
did my ‘privates’ look like hers?
Was she really a boy? She ‘went’ like one.
Why can’t I do it?
Why can’t I be a boy?
One night…
I stayed at her house
her stepfather came in her room
at the middle of the night
and molested her
I’m not sure what exactly happened
I was laying on the floor confused
in a dreamlike state
It was pitch black, all I could hear was crying
I wasn’t sure if he got me too or if I was dreaming
he rubbed something on my crotch
and told me not to tell anyone
I ran out of her house to mine
and that was that
(I blurted it the next day to my mother)
(he eventually got caught by the mother — and arrested)
I’m so sorry 😦
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