Not by choice
It is the fastest route to get where I am supposed to be
It saves time, money, and energy
I live in the country
If I were to take to fastest route, I would have to drive in my town
to take the highway
I don’t have the time to search for a different method
It would be a waste of my energy
— he’s not that important
If he was that important
He wouldn’t have let me go like that
He didn’t like what I wrote in the final text I sent it
I made it clear what I wanted
He rejected but still wanted to be my ‘friend’
‘Friend’ meant fuck buddy
I decided enough was enough and I shot my mouth off
In a second, he was gone
I haven’t heard from since
But I get to see his house
when I drive to that city
That place it all happened
That place I hate with a passion
That place I wish I could erase
from my mind
But I can’t
A year later I got the ‘privilege’ of going back there
to study
(I got accepted in all the schools I applied too.
I just had to pick this one, probably because my mother.)
Not what I wanted
But I had no choice
But to sacrifice enormous amounts of money I don’t have
time, energy, and my well-being
For what?
What is the point?
So I can re-live what happened
again, again, until I go insane?
Or to put him in his cardboard-box shaped house
where he belongs.
He doesn’t belong with his motor vehicles and cars
He is immobile
He is stuck in that place
I am not
I am driving