Philosophy: You’re in a prison sentence once you decide to get married. You made a lifetime commitment. Once you have kids, you’re no longer in prison. Your life is completely over.
Marriage
For me to get married, I need to find someone that fits me. I mean, really fits me. I can’t be with someone if I know I’m not going to be happy or annoyed 24/7. That’s not a healthy relationship.
At the point I am at in my life right now I can’t think about marriage. I haven’t exactly came to my full, to accept another person’s full. I can love all I want, I just can’t make that big of a commitment.
Children
Kids generally annoy me. It’s not that I hate them or am a bad person, it’s just I have no patience. Yelling and crying sets me off. I can’t imagine having to take care of one.
If I were to get pregnant right now, I would get an abortion. It sounds bad but hey, I have to be honest with myself. I am no position to have a kid right now nor do I want one. I don’t think bringing a child in my chaos, unhappiness, instability, and confusion is best for the child either. I would be automatically setting the child up for a difficult life. Maybe a child ten years from now, who knows — and if I even want one. I don’t know.
I totally see your point. I have three young adult kids and a 29 year marriage. But I was lucky with the husband and we did not have the kids till we were older. I think you are doing the right thing by knowing yourself and what you can handle. Really good post. http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/
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I feel absolutely the same way. How am I suppose to commit to someone and take care of him and kids, when I feel like a kid myself.
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