Trick people into thinking you have a life.

1. Take pictures of you with your siblings. Don’t tag them. Have people think you have friends in real life.

2. Go to the beach… Or that lake down the street. Take a picture of it. Write a caption: “Just cruising by on my motorcycle,” or “It’s nice to sit and relax after a long day in the office.”

3. Status updates. Everyday. Let us know what you do. Gym, club, concert, bar, hiking, running, skateboarding, etc. It doesn’t matter. Just tell us something interesting. Maybe, just maybe we will be inspired by your “awesomeness” or dream of having your life.

4. Arguments. Anything, everything. It doesn’t matter. Make sure to make your friend look like a total idiot and you a genius. Why? Because if you win, you are more awesome? Isn’t it how it goes? Yes, no? No, yes? … Eh you don’t care. You’re almost halfway to the place you want to be.

5. Post old pictures of you and your hot ex-girlfriend. They assume you are still together and everything is going right. Why else would you post those pictures from you two years ago on your profile? For your health? Nah. You are happy, awesome, and an “amazing boyfriend” and want everyone to know it.

6. Avoid using social media for a week. The less you appear to be online, the more likely you are elsewhere — on a yacht, getting drunk, having sex with hot girls, and living the life?

7. Add a bunch of people you don’t know. Small-circle? Big-circle of people you actually know? Nah. Why not add everyone on social media that looks like they have a good job at some modeling agency, factory, law firm or business? You look much more awesome being surrounded by successful people.

8. Get a twitter. Pay for followers. Make a cool description of yourself. You’re an artist, model, and talent agent in Hollywood — or at least you can pretend to be. Now go follow successful people and hope they follow you. You’ll look cool.

9. Don’t respond to any messages. If the question comes up why you didn’t respond, say you were at a business meeting with your partner.

10. Last and not least, DON’T TELL THE TRUTH. You don’t want everyone to know that you are unemployed, lazy, fat, and haven’t shaved your face in six weeks.



— I don’t recommend doing any of these things. This is based off things I seen and heard from people I know. Just think, what do you want people in your circle to see? Don’t lie. Tell the truth. Be you.

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